Sunday, August 6, 2017

Sunday Confessions | 8-6-17


I CONFESS

I was sitting on the couch and was playing with my hair when my fingers got to my scalp I felt something, like little lumps, maybe built up hair product? It was a bit intertwined with my hair so I had to "slide" it off and it was... dried blood. What the hell? Then I vaguely recollect that a FEW nights ago my cat was attacking my head when I was sleeping. How long did I have dried blood on top of my head???


I CONFESS

Neil brought home McDonalds last Saturday after going to the Magic card place that I can never remember the name of, not that that has anything to do with this story, and got me a Sprite with my meal. It was a warm day and I actually finished all of my soda so there was just ice at the bottom. After a while, I go to clear the coffee table and take the soda containers to dump out the ice/melted ice/soda before tossing them. As I open the lid to mine, there at the bottom are about a dozen sluggish ants. WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK. I quickly dash over to the living room to see if there are more ants. Nope. My thinking is these ants were in the ice and I didn't actually drink them but ehhh we all know that is just not true. SHHHH. Neil had no ants in his cup. He was very happy to share this story with my brother and friends when they came over. Bleh.


I CONFESS

I am battling fruit flies in the kitchen. This is a new one for me! I've never had this problem before. Which is strange, because I have had to deal with lots of other bugs. But these little shits are not going away! I had made smoothies and tossed the orange pieces in the sink like I do, and didn't put them in the garbage disposal until after I ate, and those disgusting fuckers laid eggs all over it in that time!

Basically my confessions this week are I AM A GROSS HUMAN BEING AND I AM SO SORRY.


But hey, some good news:

On Wednesday my husband noticed on the camera that our neighbors had parked in our driveway, so as we were driving home we were both really annoyed. This was it, Neil was going to tell them something.

So we get home, the car had been moved, but Neil sees Janice's mom next door spraying down the driveway. Neil lays into her... and she tries hard not to cry and tells Neil she thought it was okay since we don't get home until five blah blah. And then tells him about her daughter getting beat up by the bf, the bf stealing Jacie's car, him getting arrested, the car being in impound, her putting her daughter safe, and that the bf gets out of jail on Friday. And it's his car chained to the tree. And he and Jacie did about 2500 bucks worth of damage to the small studio, like drilling holes in the floor (???). 

So yay, no more Jacie! But we are supposed to call the cops if we see him. Screw that noise. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS OLD LADY. You knew what kind of disaster your daughter was and you put her next door to me. I also don't care that Jacie got beat up. FU Jacie. 

Neil rolled his eyes at me when I said this to him. Oh, you get to get all riled up when your hamburger has onions on it when you specifically asked for no onions and you say you hope they die in a fire but I can't rejoice when a turd person gets their just desserts???

Ooookay, like I get it, one is a hypothetical situation and one actually happened but still. LET ME HAVE MY MEAN GIRL MOMENT (is it weird that I've never seen that movie?).

There is also waaaaaay less trash in my front yard now. Literally and metaphorically ;)

I AM NOT SORRY FOR BEING A HORRIBLE PERSON.

This is a weekly link up hosted by Becky over at her blog: 

The United States of Becky

4 comments:

  1. OMG I am dying. I would so be like you, my husband would be like Neil/ having misplaced sympathy for the asshole neighbour who totally had karma coming too! I am so happy for you they are gone! Bugs are so gross, sorry you are dealing with that! That is really weird about the ice, do you think the McDonald's ice had ants in it?? :-0

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    1. After my husband talked to his coworkers of course he changed his mind about feeling bad for making the lady cry. Whatever. A little sore spot for me ;) Sometimes I feel like he just likes to be contrarian with me. The old lady did drop off some peaches so now I feel like I have to go over there and say thanks.

      AND THE ANTS. That has never happened to me! But yeah, the ants totally came from the McDonalds :(

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  2. Ha ha ha...I love all these stories.
    Have you gotten rid of your fruit flies yet? I know the perfect way.
    Shawn would react to the neighbor thing the exact way you did. : )

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    1. Please tell me your magic answer for the fruit flies!!! My "solution" was to take everything out of the kitchen, wipe everything down, and put it back. There are still a few stragglers.

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