Sunday, April 3, 2016

Sunday Confessions 4-3-16

The United States of Becky
I confess: There is a huge zit on my chin. Please go away, no one wants you.

I confess: I never thought I'd be a person who wore an apron in the kitchen, but ever since one of my friends gifted me one, I wear it all the time when I'm cooking or doing the dishes. Bonus points if you know the show it's referencing!

I confess: Work is... I don't even know how much to say because I really don't know much AT ALL. They let our president go this week, it was a shock for everyone. They told him "we wanted you gone yesterday" basically. Gah. He started the company like forty years ago. He should never have merged with that Texas company. Ever. They wanted him to get rid of like 70% of the staff when we merged with them and he said no but now he is gone so... I don't know. They also might be planning to file for bankruptcy, they haven't been paying any of our bills. AHHHH.

I confess: Needless to say I'm a bit stressed (probably where that zit came from), and I never feel like I'm qualified for any of the jobs I see posted online. They all sound like:

LOOKING FOR EXPERT MULTI LINGUAL TECH GOD. 10 BILLION YEARS OF EXPERIENCE NEEDED. MUST BE DISNEY LEVEL PRINCESS CHARMING. DO NOT APPLY IF YOU ARE NOT THE MOST PERFECT PERFECT THAT EVER PERFECTED.

11 comments:

  1. Work insecurity = scary as hell. A friend of mine was in a similar situation a few years ago - the company founder either died or retired and the son took over, running the company into the ground. Not sure of the specifics, but I know she had to work on deferred payment for a little while, but somehow the son managed to get the company back on its feet and she's busier now than she ever has been. I'd still be combing the want ads just in case, though.

    And want ads are so unrealistic!!! I remember when I got laid off when I was working full time for the attorney. I started looking for work (per the requirements of unemployment), and even though I had years of hands on tech experience building custom databases from the ground up (all self taught on the job thanks to the attorney), nobody would even interview me because I only have an associate's and not a bachelor's degree. #lame It was kinda a blessing in disguise, though, I'm really not made for office work.

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    1. so i think things are okay for now at my work, but i need to still get my resume together so i'm not caught off guard again. it just proves no one is safe :/

      i feel want ads appeal to narcissistic extroverts only. like, they would be the only ones to be like, hell ya i'm amazing. maybe even too amazing for this company but i'll let them hire me.

      i definitely feel under-educated in this area! it kinda sucks. you SERIOUSLY need to do a post or series on your work history, its so varied and surprising!

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  2. Sorry to hear about your company, the not knowing must be frustrating to say the least. I need a job too, I don't even look at job ads though as they are a joke: "Basic admin level pay, but you must be able to twirl a baton upside down, type 500 words a minute and roast your own coffee beans" or whatever! ;-0. Also interviews suck: "Did you dream of doing this throoughly uninspiring sounding job your whole life? Tell me in five different ways from the viewpoint of a cat, a squirrel, Tom Hanks, the ocean, and yourself in a past life" Ok I may exaggerate SLIGHTLY but seriously I freaking hate them.

    Ooh is the apron from Bates Motel?! One little zit will not win my sympathy this week I'm afraid, no, in payment for my saintly exercising my skin is rewarding me with the cheeks of a hormonal sixteen year old, gah! :-0

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    1. Things seem okay for now but the unexpectedness has left an uneasiness... so we shall see. Your interview questions are spot on! Have you seen the actual, real, weird ass ones that have been asked lately??? How would you sell hot cocoa in Florida? Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses? What would you do if you found a penguin in a freezer?

      THOSE ARE ALL REAL QUESTIONS THAT WERE ASKED LAST YEAR TO REAL PEOPLE. My coworkers son was asked to a group interview and they made them play duck duck goose. FOR REALS. WHY.

      Ahh, me and my zit will just be alone in our misery then ;) I do have a bunch of little ones cropping up, one near the mole i hate on my face and i'm like NO ANYWHERE BUT THERE DON'T MAKE IT LOOK BIGGER.

      The apron is from the chicken restaurant in Breaking Bad that is a front for a meth business ;)

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    2. Oh my god I was just riffing, I had no idea it had gotten so bad!! I am in for such an unpleasant wake up call. Ah a zit near a mole is no bueno, ON TOP of the mole, which has happened to me, even less so! Oh a Los Pollos Hermanos apron sounds fun to me!

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    3. UGH, I was terrible at job interviews and things hadn't gotten crazy in that department the last time I was interviewing. I'm just not that good at improvising lies. Why do you want to work here? Ummmm, to make money so I don't end up homeless just doesn't sum up the kick ass job I would've done at any of the respective places that didn't' hire me.

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    4. ha, dang i wish people could just say the honest thing! like, i will probably eventually like this company, but right now i just need money. and for me, i'm super shy at first, which i feel is a negative, extroverted personalities seem more confident and capable.

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  3. p.s. we share an apron in my house, my husband wears it to wash the dishes! ;-0

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    1. i would like to see what this apron looks like!

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  4. Oh man...work stuff. That sucks. :( Boo, hiss. Hope it goes okay, at least while you can plan. I know exactly what you mean about the posted help wanted ads. Like, you want to work as a receptionist at a medical office? Did you go to medical school? No? Well then you're not qualified. Oy.

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    1. work seems okay for now, but it does seem like i need to get off my lazy bum and look around and get my resume ready and stuff. bleh. i've gotten very complacent! in this area especially, it seems like the only jobs available are ones where you need at least a four year degree.

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