Sunday, September 17, 2017

Sunday Confessions | 9-17-17


I CONFESS | I'm a moody whore


Friday I just needed the week to end, it had been a... week at work. Just trying to take it day by day but damn. Meeting after meeting and people yelling at each other and more meetings... bleh.

ANYWAYS.

I actually didn't even know I was seeing Muse until last week when my friend was like hey, just drop my things off when we go see Muse and I was like whaaaaat. AWESOME. (I'm sure my husband had mentioned it to me but I really had no idea.)
The day comes, Neil says we are going to carpool with them... like, I love them, but they run on a very different clock. And I get high anxiety on being "late" and I have also developed a routine of sorts for Shoreline which is bad cause once I get a routine I. Do. Not. Like. To. Deviate.

Plus, the only time to really converse with everyone is before the music starts to play and if you arrive barely before, not much interacting says the hermit introvert. So we barely get into the venue a little past seven, find two of our friends and find a spot on the grass, which was a bit of a concern because dang was it full!!!

So I'm sitting there with my wine, TRYING to be in a good mood, I mean, hello, it's Friday night, I have alcohol, I'm at the Shoreline about to watch Muse, I'm with my friends... GET IT TOGETHER. But I could just feel the annoyance radiating through me.

  1. Bad week at work
  2. Carpooling with people who have no regard for time (OKAY I'M A BIT HIGH STRUNG ON THAT. BUT HELLO, I GOT OFF WORK AT 4:30, AT THEIR PLACE BY 4:45 AND DIDN'T LEAVE UNTIL SIX AND THE PARKING LOT CLOSES AT SEVEN)
  3. It gets mentioned that a person I don't like is going. Which is fine (and by fine I mean IF I HAVE TO), but I wish I knew beforehand so I could mentally prepare myself, and feel like I had a choice? So annoying. (And then I find out they went because MY HUSBAND told them, even though he knows I can't stand them)
  4. Our friends that we carpooled with decided to eat OUTSIDE the venue at In and Out. Now, here I'm going to be very non-Californian in saying.... I DON'T GET THE HYPE. Okay, it's a good burger for the price. Yes, it's better than McDonald's (der). But it's just okay. And the fries suck unless you get them with cheese or animal style. I've eaten here less than six times that I can remember. PLUS IT WAS CROWDED AS FUCK AS IN and OUT ALWAYS IS, which is the most annoying part of this plan. This takes more time away from getting to the venue on time!!!!
  5. Neil and I eat our burgers before our friends even get their food. We eat them standing up outside the establishment like hobos (because inside is just a disaster. when we ordered our food they gave us number 77. they were barely calling 51 to pick up their order, just to give an idea of how many people were there).
  6. Parking lot at Shoreline is crazy full.
  7. Get in the venue, the grass is also crazy full so we have to be off to the side instead of our usual dead center.
  8. Person I don't like shows up and just hearing the voice and hearing my husband and them talk just puts me over the edge.
So yeah, lot's of stupid things a normal person would shrug off. But I could feel it ruining my night so I grabbed my purse and left without saying anything. I knew if I stayed I was going to ruin the night for me, and my husband, and maybe a few others if they noticed. That's really selfish and I didn't want to be that person.

I didn't really have a plan, I was like okay, let's go use the bathroom first and try to clear our head. There was no line so that took like no time. Darn. I really needed more time. I still didn't know what my plan was. Get an uber? And go where? Am I really going to commit to this bad mood? Also leaving would be really selfish too. What would I tell people? "Sorry, have really bad diarrhea can't hang" <--- somehow feels less embarrassing than admitting my mental temper tantrum.

I decided against the leaving/have diarrhea plan. 
Me on the right trying to be in a good mood vs me on the left on how I was really feeling. And yes, I totally took a selfie on a toilet. Felt appropriate.
So I just start wandering around trying to figure out exactly what I'm going to do. I get to the merch booth and the line was long and barely moving. OMG SO PERFECT. I have never been so pleased to see a long line. This will totally buy me some time so I can figure my shit out. And also gives me a plausible reason for being gone!!!

So I just stand there and stare off into the middle distance, chat a bit with the people behind me, and just forget everything else. The few glasses of wine I had started taking effect and I felt calmer. After I get my shirt I feel like I am ready to join the group (which was about 8 people so really easy to avoid The Person). All in all about 30-40 minutes away from everyone, which is a good amount of time but was totally worth it.
I'm so thankful I did a very uncharacteristic thing because it worked and I ended up having a great time. Now I know what to do in the future, though I should tell Neil where I'm going because he was worried and that wasn't cool of me. But I didn't know where I was going? I just hoped I would be coming back, ha, cause at that time I wasn't sure I wanted to. 

DON'T I SOUND AMAZING, YOU TOTALLY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME.

Also, you can use this as a textbook example of Instagram (me) making the day seem more glamorous than it was.